I am thankful for all my courseroom buddies over the years. For everyone who has joined me in the quest for wisdom, compassion and authentic power. I am thankful that there is
a group of people out there who are bonded in the truest sense of the word because of those experiences. Who
want what is best for each other. Who can be present with each other in tough
times and vulnerable times. And who have a plethora of stories to tell about
tissues and issues in various courses that will evoke smiles
and chortles and the odd unstoppable belly laugh. May we cherish those
experiences forever.
I am thankful for my work. It is challenging and brain-befuddling and emotionally unbinding – but I really wouldn’t choose any other
way to make a living. Even on those days when I’m quite sure that working in a
pickle factory seems like a much more sensible choice.
I am thankful for my family. Obviously.
I am thankful for a nice glass of wine at about 5pm on a day
that’s not going the way I want it to. I am thankful for cornchips….that add
just the right amount of chippiness to the glass of wine…rendering all things
quite bearable again.
Hmmm…so many things in that category actually.Cups of tea. Chocolate icecream cakes with
chocolate freckles between the layers and fresh choc dipped strawberries on the
top. Good Movies. Good Books. Etc : )
And lastly..I am thankful for Thanksgiving. What a genius
idea, to devote one entire day to the notion of generosity.
Happy Thanksgiving to all the evolutionary Warriors out there. Big cheers!
I have been deeply touched by a video from one of Leonard Cohen's concerts.
The song, 'Anthem', is one of my favourite songs of all time for it's hope and it's recognition and acceptance that we are all flawed in one way or another.
"There's a crack in everything,
That's how the light get's in."
What really got to me however, and brought tears to my eyes, was the dignity, humbleness and deep, deep respect that he shows towards his band as he introduces and thanks each of them in turn at the end of the song.
This depth of respect is so rare in modern life.
It's now on my list of things to continue to work with.
Unfortunately, YouTube won't let us embed this video, however click here to view it.
I've always loved the idea of magic. Loved the idea that there is something quite evolved about crossing the threshold between the actual and the possible. When we wish upon a star we step back into a world that exists separately to the daily grind. Suddenly there is this tiny shaft of light that pierces the day-to-day continuum and reminds us that we are more than just a blob of matter trudging off to work everyday. We're also this glorious shining pool of energy that transcends our skin and can quite literally touch the Divine.
I think I've spent my life looking for those places where the veil between the day-to-day and the Divine was at its thinnest. There are places where the membrane is stretched tight....and if you know how to push against it (oh so gently) then you tumble into this other world where anything is possible. Where everything is utterly OK right now. You are in the right place at the right time and you stop being anxious about the future or regretful about the past.
Magic.
When I was little it was all about wishing. Throw a coin into a pool of water and make a wish as you hear the satisfying 'plink' noise the coin makes when it pierces the membrane between air and water.
When I started personal growth work it was those moments in a course-room when I was allowed to cry and cry til I had cried enough....and sank into that lovely healing space knowing that the team around me would be there to pick up the tissues.
I noticed it when I gave birth to my two (darling, delicious, divine) children. The veil between life and death was at its tightest at that moment and the experience was so vivid that I can feel a wash of the sacred even as I picture it.
But Robert Prinable's right. As we grow we find it more challenging to pierce that veil. Because grownups don't make wishes. They make plans. Because the astonishing things we accomplish with our left brains (science, technology, bridges, roads...) (...the aquaduct!) rise above us in monolithic proportions.
And I do value what my intellect and my capacity to plan has done for me. I feed my children, I pay my mortgage, I build courses and plan curriculums with my knowledge. And I have built a tangible, measurable body of work where others have spent a lot of time wishing and not quite enough time getting off their butts and making stuff happen.
So I think I'm up for another upping of the ante on this one. I have upped the ante before...and no doubt I will again...but for now I make this wish:
I wish for more magic. I wish for more experiences of piercing the veil, and more capacity to notice it happening. And I promise to continue to plan and strategise so that I can keep creating places where others can do the same.
There are some wonderful Apps now available to support you in your meditation practice. here's a few that I like:
Insight Timer
Available for I-Pad, I-Phone and Android
This is a wonderful App from Spotlight Six
Software for those who like to keep track of your Meditations. If you are a therapist, masseur or some other healer, it's also a really nice way to time your sessions and gently let your client know that the session is coming to an end.
It has some lovely bells to start and
finish your meditation in the gentlest of ways, and you can set the length of
your meditation for whatever period you like. You can even set interval bells for meditations that have different
phases to them or just as a mindfulness reminder to bring you back into the present if you have a tendency to wander off in your meditation.
Another great feature is the bells will
ring, even if your phone is set to ‘silent’ so you don’t have to worry about any irritating phone calls whilst you
are using the app during your meditation.
But it is so much more than just a meditation
timer.
Quite often I will have wonderfully
creative ideas during Meditation, that if not captured either after or even
during the meditation, can drift back off into the ether never to be
recovered. Insight Timer has that covered as it has a
journal attached that you can use to capture any insights, ideas or revelations
immediately after your meditation.
It also
keeps a record of when and for how long you have meditated which can also be a
useful thing. It’s quite interesting to be able to note the correlations of what’s happening
in your life generally against the regularity of your meditation practice. For me, things always seem to be working
better when I’m meditating regularly.
The graphics are very smart, navigation is
easy and intuitive, and there are quite a lot of extras you can do like choose your own
picture to have on the screen while you are meditating.
I give this App 5 stars.
Relaxing Sounds of Nature
Whilst not formally a ‘Meditation’ App this
is a great App fpor those who like to be ‘meditated,’ using the latest
technology.
There’s a heaps of these ‘relaxation’ apps
available, most of which have sounds of birdsong, crickets, rain on a tin roof,
waves etc, but Relaxing sounds of Nature is pretty sophisticated in that it
allows you to:
Mix 70 beautiful nature sounds (including 2
sets of Aussie birdsong) with 96 other relaxations sounds and music, including
bells, windchimes, chanting, zen flutes etc.
All sounds have their own individual volume
controls, so you can make up mixes just the way you want.
Save mixes that you particularly like.
Set a timer, or have it fade out as an aid
to gently falling to sleep at night, or even use it as an alarm clock for a
soothing start to the day.
There’s even some nice lullaby tunes for
using with kids that are reluctant to fall asleep.
Included are brain-wave entrainment tones
for Beta, Alpha, Theta and Delta, if you are wanting to explore and develop
different brain-wave states.
Can be played whilst using other apps
You can even mix the sounds of nature with
tracks form your own iTunes library!
Free for the lite version, but only .99c full the full version - great value for money.
Five stars for this one too.
Just on this theme of Nature Sounds, below is an interesting TED Talk by Julian Treasure on Sound Health, which includes a section on healthy things to listen to that support good hearing and good health.
If you have some favourite apps that support your personal evolution, then please let us know... we're always on the lookout for good ones to share with people. Thanks StJohn
“Anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is
too small for you”
What a statement!
I love David Whyte. He makes me think. And feel. And
feel what I’m thinking about… and think about what I’m feeling. Genius.
What this snippet does for me is send me into a lovely
scatter of thoughts and feelings. Even watching myself have that response to
his ideas is fascinating – like a pianist suddenly moving from Beethoven to
Jazz. All of a sudden my nicely organised worldview gets shaken up…and I have
to improvise instead of falling back on what I know to be true.
I find myself interpreting that line as permission to
cut free all experiences and friendships that don’t really serve me.
Then I wonder about the lack of compassion that seems
to imply. What? – am I to discard all old friends that I have grown bigger than?
Seems a bit heartless.
Then I settle back into the notion that sometimes the
recognition that I am bigger (more evolved) than someone or something is
enough. Sometimes I actually need to take ownership of all the work I’ve done these
past 20 years and recognize that others haven’t had the opportunities, the
education, the loving support of wise teachers that I have had. It's easy to
forget that for me. (Rampant Narcissism of course – the rest of the world
should have the same worldview, skills and capability I have apparently.)
But they don’t.
And its good to remind myself that being bigger is
sometimes enough. And when it’s not – when the small mean spiritedness and
egoic bullshit of others is actually diminishing me…its OK to move away.
Sometimes I even do it gracefully.
Onward and upward,
Jo
Here at Keep Evolving we have adopted David Whyte as
our Poet Laureate. Well worth exploring if you’ve not experienced his
astonishing talent.
I recently read this blog by Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying). It saddened me deeply, and I wondered if more people read it, then perhaps they would take some action so that they didn't experience the same regrets when they were dying. I hope so.
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
One of the reasons why we run the programs we do at Keep Evolving is so people can start to take action now, so they don't have these regrets when they die.
The Next Evolving Self Program (which is all about learning how to do these 5 things) starts on July 6 in Sydney. To find out more, go to:
The shift from Reactive to Creative is one of the most important evolutionary steps a person can take in their life. And yet it's just a series of steps really.
What do I mean by Reactive and Creative?
By Reactive I am referring to our need to take things ‘out there’ as our reference point in life and respond accordingly. So if we are a complying sort of person, if someone barks “Jump!” we ask “how high?” and then we jump. Similarly, if we have a rebellious streak in us and someone barks “Jump!”, we are likely to say something along the lines of “Get lost. No one tells me to jump anywhere!”.
These responses look very different, but what they do have in common, is that they are both reacting to an external stimulus.
On our programs we identify three main flavours in which we can play out literally hundreds of Reactive responses. These are Controlling (I’ll take charge, thank you), Complying (I’ll do whatever you want, as long as you’ll like me and approve of me), and Protecting (I’ll use my superior intellect to prove that I’m better or smarter than you and thereby keep you and the feelings of involvement at a safe distance).
All of these Reactive ways of being in the world have their own underlying fears that keeps them firmly in place as we go through life, whether it be a fear of being out of control or powerless, or a fear of being rejected and unaccepted, or maybe a fear of being seen as stupid and not good enough.
To operate from the Creative in your life, means that you have the ability to assess what is the most appropriate and beneficial thing to be doing in any situation, and you have the capacity to make that choice, even if you feel it might take you out of control or you might not be liked by others involved. Where the reactive response is an outside-in response, the creative is inside-out. Ultimately comine from the Creative means you are in charge of your life, you are willing to take responsibility for your responses and you are creative source for your life. Autonomy and authenticity are the rewards.
Now the distinctions between Reactive and Creative ways of operating in the world are not that difficult for people to grasp. Indeed we cover it in an hour or so on the first evening of ‘The Evolving Self’ program. Understanding it is not the problem. It’s learning how to ‘do’ it, or perhaps to be more accurate, how to ‘be’ it, that takes a bit more learning.
The challenge is not only how to change the habits of a lifetime, and we all know how difficult it is to give up the habits we have identified as not being useful any more, but we have to develop some new skills, some new perspectives on life and have guidance while we first put them into place.
And that’s what we do on ‘The Evolving Self’. Equip you for the journey as you master your reactivity and let your creativity emerge. On the program we do this by developing three inter-related sets of lifeskills.
Spine.
By Spine we are talking about courage, strength and persistence. The courage to step ot of old comfortable patterns to try new approaches and to confront situations where you know that you really need to set some boundaries and say ’no’ occasionally. The courage, strength and persistence to stick with it, to do the things that previously got tossed in the ‘too hard’ basket, to have the difficult conversations that you have been avoiding and to go the extra mile when you feel like giving up.
Heart.
Heart is developing the caring, compassion and empathy to interact with others in ways that build, confirm and heal relationships through care and respect. To be able to do this, we need to work very closely with our own self-care, self-compassion and self-kindness. As we learn to treat ourselves with care and respect, to not push ourselves too hard and to tame our own self-critic, we become more understanding, caring and compassionate towards others. We also learn how to develop the skills to say the difficult things in a way that they are not heard as criticism or judgement.
Wisdom.
Part of being wise is knowing when to fight for something you feel is important and when to let go. Developing this wisdom is a key part of the journey, and is best achieved through allocating time each day to withdraw from the coal-face for a while to reflect on your life, your needs, your values and your strategies. Managing your stress levels is key. It is almost impossible to come from the Creative place inside when you are anxious, cranky, irritable, over-tired and under pressure. So, on the program we learn how to calm. We also learn about how to manage our brain and thinking patterns in ways that will support the shift from Reactive to Creative.
There is so much more to evolving out of the Reactive and into the Creative than just understanding a few concepts… the team behind ‘The Evolving Self’ have between them spent well over 100 years exploring, learning, experimenting, studying and practicing the reactive/creative steps and we’ve pulled the best of what we have learned together into this program.
On the workshop we teach specific skills designed to develop Spine, Heart and Wisdom and then guide and coach during the following twelve-week on-line community coaching program whilst these skills are honed and further developed.
Judging by the response we’ve had from the participants of the first program, it’s working well.
Inside all of us there is a yearning to make this leap into the Creative. All we need is a little guidance and a great big dollop of encouragement and we’re off. One step at a time.
Follow the link if you feel you're ready to take your next step and want to find out more… the next course starts on July 6. www.keepevolving.com.au/evolvingself.html
In response to your question “What is worth doing and what is worth having?” I would like to say simply this.It is worth doing nothing and having a rest; inspite of all the difficulty it may cause, you must rest Vasco – otherwise you will become RESTLESS!
I believe the world is sick with exhaustion and dying of restlessness.While it is true that periods of weariness help the spirit to grow, the prolonged, ongoing state of fatigue to which our world seems to be rapidly adapting is ultimately soul destroying as well as earth destroying.The ecology of evil flourishes and love cannot take rest in this sad situation.Tiredness is one of our strongest, most noble and instructive feelings.It is an important aspect of our CONSCIENCE and must be heeded or else we will not survive.When you are tired you must have that feeling and you must act upon it sensibly – you must rest like the trees and the animals do.
Yet tiredness has become a matter of shame!This is a dangerous development.Tiredness has become the most suppressed feeling in the world.Everywhere we see people overcoming their exhaustion and pushing on with intensity – cultivating the great mass mania which all around is making life so hard and ugly – so cruel and meaningless – so utterly graceless – and being congratulated for overcoming it and pushing it deep down inside themselves as if it were a virtue to do this.And of course Vasco, you know what happens when such strong and natural feelings are denied – they turn into the most powerful and bitter poisons with dreadful consequences and then wonder why we are so unhappy.
So I gently urge you Vasco, do as we do in Curly Flat – learn to curl up and rest – feel your noble tiredness – learn about it and make a generous place for it in your life and enjoyment wil lsurely follow.I repeat:it’s worth doing nothing and having a good rest.
Whenever I am feeling like I am losing connection with the deeper, spiritual, divine part of life I turn to Michael Leunig, one of Australia's living treasures. Leunig is well known for his whimsical and insightful cartoons, but perhaps slightly less well known for his writing.
Over the months to come I will share some of what I think are his most inspired writings for your contemplation.
The first is from "The Curly Pyjama Letters". These letters are a small fragment of the vast correspondence known to have taken place between lone voyager Vasco Pyjama and his friend and mentor Mr Curly of Curly Flat.
It is generally accepted, that Mr Curly still lives somewhere by the shores of LakeLacuna near Curly Flat where, amongst other pursuits, he is actively and passionately absorbed in matters of horticulture, birdwatching, music and winemaking. His wines from the Curly Flat vineyard are legendary for the gentleness, cheerfulness and lyricism of their intoxication. Domestic contentment and ease with the natural world appear to be Mr Curly’s major attributes or achievements – but not at the expense of an expressive and spirited personal style.
Vasco Pyjama probably started his life in Curly Flat, where the great friendship began, but his searching and restless nature has compelled him into his great voyage of discovery – the circumnavigation of his own world. In the company of his direction-finding duck (a sort of living compass which, according to Vasco, ‘always points towards new joys’), he has left his home and wandered far and wide into his uncharted world, risking, finding, enjoying and observing much. He is clearly the more troubled and vulnerable of the two; more easily shaken and bruised; more prone to self-doubt, disillusionment or spiritual intoxication – and perhaps possessed of a lonelier, more ecstatic vision.
Here is a letter from Vasco, clearly disturbed by the current state of the world, to his friend Mr Curly;
Dear Mr Curly, I hope you are well. I’m still wandering far and wide, looking at the world, and now I realise and sort of accept that I am observing and am part of a world which is dying. This is certainly a sad understanding and seems to imply that life is not worth living but, strangely, that is not how I feel. The vital question now seems to be- shall our dear old earth die badly or well? This matters, I think, and seems to be worth working with and struggling with: how do we attend the dying earth? It seems peculiar to be grieving about a death which has not yet occurred and very confusing to mourn ahead of time but this seems a wise and proper thing to learn about because there will be no possibility of a requiem after the event; no fine words or music, and no tears – all those things which can help make sense of death and sweeten it. Perhaps, little by little, we can start doing this already: perhaps a cheerful vase of daffodils can also be, sometimes, a small wreath. We need to be careful however – and gentle too because what bothers me most is the feelings of the innocent children. Their hearts are not ready for such burdens. So how do we proceed with them? How do we be with them? I must say that when I am amongst them I can only feel that all shall be well and I accept this happiness as a simple pleasure, but when they depart I grow troubled and sad.
How we have wallowed too deeply in the history of man’s inhumanity to man – the endless stories of “who did what to whom” and how little we have known or cared or understood about man’s cruel persecution of nature, the animals and the earth. Already the holocaust is well in motion and, as with the approaches of all those other great tragedies and holocausts – even when the writing is on the wall – we act as if the worst is not going to happen. In the light odf this, Curly, I ask you as I ask myself each morning, “WHAT IS WORTH DOING AND WHAT IS WORTH HAVING?” These are big questions and I am curious about your answers. I look forward to hearing from you.
For the time being I have my faith and I am doing what I can.
Your cheerfully and entirely seriously
Vasco Pyjama xxx
We will publish Mr Curly's reply in due course.
In the meantime, it would be a worthy thing to contemplate the questions Vasco poses: “WHAT IS WORTH DOING AND WHAT IS WORTH HAVING?”
And if you feel sufficiently moved, why not share your thoughts and feelings in the comments section below.
This writing, from the Positive Thoughts blog, describes well what it means to move from a Reactive perspective to a Creative one... something that not many adults achieve... This shift, from Reactive to Creative is central to The Evolving Self program starting on April 27, where we explore what it means, but more importantly, we explore and practice the skills on how to do it.
When children learn that giving is more rewarding than taking; when they learn that they can't control everything, but they are masters of their own souls; when they learn to accept people whose difference they fear, and that pleasure is found in the power in helping others; when they learn that the value of one's life is best measured not by possession acquired, but by wisdom shared, hope inspired, tears wiped, and hearts touched; when they learn that happiness and lasting contentment are not to be found in what a person has, but in what he or she is; when they learn to withhold judgment of people, knowing that everyone is blessed with good and bad qualities; when they learn that every person has been given the gift of a unique self and the purpose of life is to share the very best of that gift with the world. . . . When children learn these ideals, they will no longer be children--they will be blessings to those who know them, and worthy models for all the world's children.
David L. Weatherford
To exist is to change, to change is to mature,
to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.
Henri Berson
For Details of The Evolving Self Program click here.
