What do I mean by Reactive and Creative?
By Reactive I am referring to our need to take things ‘out there’ as our reference point in life and respond accordingly. So if we are a complying sort of person, if someone barks “Jump!” we ask “how high?” and then we jump. Similarly, if we have a rebellious streak in us and someone barks “Jump!”, we are likely to say something along the lines of “Get lost. No one tells me to jump anywhere!”.
These responses look very different, but what they do have in common, is that they are both reacting to an external stimulus.
On our programs we identify three main flavours in which we can play out literally hundreds of Reactive responses. These are Controlling (I’ll take charge, thank you), Complying (I’ll do whatever you want, as long as you’ll like me and approve of me), and Protecting (I’ll use my superior intellect to prove that I’m better or smarter than you and thereby keep you and the feelings of involvement at a safe distance).
All of these Reactive ways of being in the world have their own underlying fears that keeps them firmly in place as we go through life, whether it be a fear of being out of control or powerless, or a fear of being rejected and unaccepted, or maybe a fear of being seen as stupid and not good enough.
To operate from the Creative in your life, means that you have the ability to assess what is the most appropriate and beneficial thing to be doing in any situation, and you have the capacity to make that choice, even if you feel it might take you out of control or you might not be liked by others involved. Where the reactive response is an outside-in response, the creative is inside-out. Ultimately comine from the Creative means you are in charge of your life, you are willing to take responsibility for your responses and you are creative source for your life. Autonomy and authenticity are the rewards.
Now the distinctions between Reactive and Creative ways of operating in the world are not that difficult for people to grasp. Indeed we cover it in an hour or so on the first evening of ‘The Evolving Self’ program. Understanding it is not the problem. It’s learning how to ‘do’ it, or perhaps to be more accurate, how to ‘be’ it, that takes a bit more learning.
The challenge is not only how to change the habits of a lifetime, and we all know how difficult it is to give up the habits we have identified as not being useful any more, but we have to develop some new skills, some new perspectives on life and have guidance while we first put them into place.
And that’s what we do on ‘The Evolving Self’. Equip you for the journey as you master your reactivity and let your creativity emerge. On the program we do this by developing three inter-related sets of lifeskills.
Spine.
By Spine we are talking about courage, strength and persistence. The courage to step ot of old comfortable patterns to try new approaches and to confront situations where you know that you really need to set some boundaries and say ’no’ occasionally. The courage, strength and persistence to stick with it, to do the things that previously got tossed in the ‘too hard’ basket, to have the difficult conversations that you have been avoiding and to go the extra mile when you feel like giving up.
Heart.
Heart is developing the caring, compassion and empathy to interact with others in ways that build, confirm and heal relationships through care and respect. To be able to do this, we need to work very closely with our own self-care, self-compassion and self-kindness. As we learn to treat ourselves with care and respect, to not push ourselves too hard and to tame our own self-critic, we become more understanding, caring and compassionate towards others. We also learn how to develop the skills to say the difficult things in a way that they are not heard as criticism or judgement.
Wisdom.
Part of being wise is knowing when to fight for something you feel is important and when to let go. Developing this wisdom is a key part of the journey, and is best achieved through allocating time each day to withdraw from the coal-face for a while to reflect on your life, your needs, your values and your strategies. Managing your stress levels is key. It is almost impossible to come from the Creative place inside when you are anxious, cranky, irritable, over-tired and under pressure. So, on the program we learn how to calm. We also learn about how to manage our brain and thinking patterns in ways that will support the shift from Reactive to Creative.
There is so much more to evolving out of the Reactive and into the Creative than just understanding a few concepts… the team behind ‘The Evolving Self’ have between them spent well over 100 years exploring, learning, experimenting, studying and practicing the reactive/creative steps and we’ve pulled the best of what we have learned together into this program.
On the workshop we teach specific skills designed to develop Spine, Heart and Wisdom and then guide and coach during the following twelve-week on-line community coaching program whilst these skills are honed and further developed.
Judging by the response we’ve had from the participants of the first program, it’s working well.
Inside all of us there is a yearning to make this leap into the Creative. All we need is a little guidance and a great big dollop of encouragement and we’re off. One step at a time.
Follow the link if you feel you're ready to take your next step and want to find out more… the next course starts on July 6.
www.keepevolving.com.au/evolvingself.html
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