Women who Workshop

Stumbled across this delicious poem today. You may find the heroine of the piece strangely familiar...  Women Who Workshop A scarf from India A top that's Loose around the Middle Very, very, very Sensible Shoes  And an Unceasingly Kind expression (The uniform of individuality). You, the Bright-Eyed. You, the Generous volunteer. You, still working out That Stuff with your dad. In hotel ballrooms and Church basements and Yoga studios and Campgrounds and Korean spas and Montana ranches, Bahamian Beaches and the Herbalist's office You are becoming. It's so becoming. You, becoming. And you've learned to Bring a sweater and a Thermos of hot water and Lots of extra tissues. You have stood in a circle You have lain prostrate Your bookshelf groans with Helping Insightful Books and Your Journals burst with line After line Documenting Your becoming. You're becoming. You are becoming. Sensual Intellectual Hard-headed Tender-hearted (so tender-hearted) With your Full-Moon Necklace and your Chakra-Balancing Necklace and the Beautiful Gold Ring that you Hand-forged in that Post-Divorce Workshop Out of the engagement ring from your First Marriage and the Wedding band from your Second Now you marry only yourself. Standing before your Altar You promise to Love Honor and Cherish Yourself From this day forward. You recognize that some might call it an Indulgence To spend time and money on The Issues That Challenge You. But those people can screw off (compassionately) Because the Rush of Self-realization when you finally put That Betrayal behind you The poem you wrote about your daughter that Still makes you cry (And OK, fine - that delirious eight-day affair with that Yoga Guy - Sweet Heaven he was gorgeous - and so bendy - ) Cannot be matched by anything that can be Found inside your own condo. You have found freedom. You have healed your Inner Child and Embraced your Inner Queen. You are even developing a side-long glance Relationship with the word "Crone." You are curious - becoming - laughing - becoming - stretching - Because as the wise woman said If You Stop Stretching You Die - sharing - Because that's what Heaven's Children do - Rejoicing in your growing awareness that no Workshop Intensive In the world is better than your own becoming Coming to be. ©  2011 Samantha Bennett www.TheOrganizedArtistCompany.com God bless us all, we women who workshop! May we become and become and become... Jo

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

I recently read this blog by Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying).   It saddened me deeply, and I wondered if more people read it, then perhaps they would take some action so that they didn't experience the same regrets when they were dying.    I hope so.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it. 

2. I wish I didn't work so hard. 

This came from every male patient that I nursed.  They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship.  Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle. 



3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. 

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others.  However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away.  People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them.  They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.  That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.


5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one.  Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice.  They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives.  Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content.  When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind.  How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

I first read this in the Observer August 2010 but have since found a link to the post on her website: http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html

One of the reasons why we run the programs we do at Keep Evolving is so people can start to take action now, so they don't have these regrets when they die.    

The Next Evolving Self Program (which is all about learning how to do these 5 things) starts on July 6 in Sydney.    To find out more, go to: 

http://www.keepevolving.com.au/evolvingself.html

Seize the day!

StJohn

It's Just a Step...

The shift from Reactive to Creative is one of the most important evolutionary steps a person can take in their life.   And yet it's just a series of steps really.

What do I mean by Reactive and Creative?

By Reactive I am referring to our need to take things ‘out there’ as our reference point in life and respond accordingly. So if we are a complying sort of person, if someone barks “Jump!” we ask “how high?” and then we jump. Similarly, if we have a rebellious streak in us and someone barks “Jump!”, we are likely to say something along the lines of “Get lost. No one tells me to jump anywhere!”.

These responses look very different, but what they do have in common, is that they are both reacting to an external stimulus.

On our programs we identify three main flavours in which we can play out literally hundreds of Reactive responses. These are Controlling (I’ll take charge, thank you), Complying (I’ll do whatever you want, as long as you’ll like me and approve of me), and Protecting (I’ll use my superior intellect to prove that I’m better or smarter than you and thereby keep you and the feelings of involvement at a safe distance).

All of these Reactive ways of being in the world have their own underlying fears that keeps them firmly in place as we go through life, whether it be a fear of being out of control or powerless, or a fear of being rejected and unaccepted, or maybe a fear of being seen as stupid and not good enough.

To operate from the Creative in your life, means that you have the ability to assess what is the most appropriate and beneficial thing to be doing in any situation, and you have the capacity to make that choice, even if you feel it might take you out of control or you might not be liked by others involved. Where the reactive response is an outside-in response, the creative is inside-out.   Ultimately comine from the Creative means you are in charge of your life, you are willing to take responsibility for your responses and you are creative source for your life.   Autonomy and authenticity are the rewards.

Now the distinctions between Reactive and Creative ways of operating in the world are not that difficult for people to grasp. Indeed we cover it in an hour or so on the first evening of ‘The Evolving Self’ program. Understanding it is not the problem. It’s learning how to ‘do’ it, or perhaps to be more accurate, how to ‘be’ it, that takes a bit more learning.

The challenge is not only how to change the habits of a lifetime, and we all know how difficult it is to give up the habits we have identified as not being useful any more, but we have to develop some new skills, some new perspectives on life and have guidance while we first put them into place.

And that’s what we do on ‘The Evolving Self’. Equip you for the journey as you master your reactivity and let your creativity emerge.    On the program we do this by developing three inter-related sets of lifeskills.

Spine.
By Spine we are talking about courage, strength and persistence. The courage to step ot of old comfortable patterns to try new approaches and to confront situations where you know that you really need to set some boundaries and say ’no’ occasionally. The courage, strength and persistence to stick with it, to do the things that previously got tossed in the ‘too hard’ basket, to have the difficult conversations that you have been avoiding and to go the extra mile when you feel like giving up.

Heart.
Heart is developing the caring, compassion and empathy to interact with others in ways that build, confirm and heal relationships through care and respect. To be able to do this, we need to work very closely with our own self-care, self-compassion and self-kindness. As we learn to treat ourselves with care and respect, to not push ourselves too hard and to tame our own self-critic, we become more understanding, caring and compassionate towards others. We also learn how to develop the skills to say the difficult things in a way that they are not heard as criticism or judgement.

Wisdom.
Part of being wise is knowing when to fight for something you feel is important and when to let go. Developing this wisdom is a key part of the journey, and is best achieved through allocating time each day to withdraw from the coal-face for a while to reflect on your life, your needs, your values and your strategies. Managing your stress levels is key. It is almost impossible to come from the Creative place inside when you are anxious, cranky, irritable, over-tired and under pressure. So, on the program we learn how to calm. We also learn about how to manage our brain and thinking patterns in ways that will support the shift from Reactive to Creative.

There is so much more to evolving out of the Reactive and into the Creative than just understanding a few concepts… the team behind ‘The Evolving Self’ have between them spent well over 100 years exploring, learning, experimenting, studying and practicing the reactive/creative steps and we’ve pulled the best of what we have learned together into this program.

On the workshop we teach specific skills designed to develop Spine, Heart and Wisdom and then guide and coach during the following twelve-week on-line community coaching program whilst these skills are honed and further developed.

Judging by the response we’ve had from the participants of the first program, it’s working well.

Inside all of us there is a yearning to make this leap into the Creative. All we need is a little guidance and a great big dollop of encouragement and we’re off.    One step at a time.

Follow the link if you feel you're ready to take your next step and want to find out more… the next course starts on July 6.
www.keepevolving.com.au/evolvingself.html